Read one of the articles for parents and one about introverts in the classroom.
Articles for parents:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Introverted-Vs-Extroverted-Children---What-Parents-Need-to-Know&id=4181641
Introverts in the classroom:
Now, compose a response to the following e-mail from a gifted parent:
Dear <teacher>,
I just wanted to touch base briefly with you about Julia. I am very concerned that she is not making enough friends this year and seems to want to stay inside on weekends and just read. I really want for her to make friends. I know her grades are high enough and she seems fine, but I am concerned that she may not be socializing enough with the other children her age. I know she talks constantly with adults and teachers and this is part of being gifted, but she should be having fun with others her age. I didn't want to have a repeat of last year with so few friends. Are there suggestions you could give me to help her socialize a little more?
Mrs. Andrews
Note: I have received letters/e-mails and questions in person which were similar in nature to this e-mail.
To the answers about a person that I think is a high achiever/gifted would be President Obama, because during his growing up he studies very hard. And had a goal in mind what he wanted to do and he met his goal. Became president of the United States.Valeria.
ReplyDeleteA gifted person would be a person is constantly striving to do the best they can, and working to help others. A gifted person will shine where ever they might be. To tell a parent that there child can be gifted is that is when you are work with a child a teacher can see the child strong or weak points helps with determining there strong points.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the article "What Parents Needs to Know", I received a different view of what an introvert and extrovert realy is. How they are different in their own way. An extrovert is not always a loud or very loud person. Just because they enjoy talking does not make them an extrovert. They are faster at getting involved in things than an introvert. I always thought an introvert was a shy person and that's not true. They are focusing on what is being discussed and how to approached the answer. Once they get in their group they open up.
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteJulia seems to an introvert. This is part of her nature and is perfectly alright. She just enjoys being alone and focusing on her inner thoughts. Let her enjoy her time alone. However, you can encourage her to spend time with a friend or two once in a while. Plan some simple outings that she can go on that does not require a large group. Help her to plan some activities that she enjoys and include a friend to participate. Don't overwhelm her with things to do just because you think she is not doing enough. Give her some space and expose her to some ideas of doing things on a small scale with her peers. Let her choose and she will probably be more likely to want to do it.
I wouldn't worry. Julia isn't a shy person. She feels better having a few friends,working in a small group rather than a of friends and in a large group. When Julia is with a large group of people, they drain all of her energy because they are all so busy and talking with out really thinking about what was said. She does better with a small group of people. Small groups of people think first before talking out. They seem to move at a slower pace than a large group.
ReplyDeleteDear Julia's parent,
ReplyDeletePlease try not to worry. Julia is an introverted gifted child and that's perfectly normal! She enjoys spending time alone and processing material on her own and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. She appears to work best when placed in a small group of peers of her own choosing. The bottom line is that she is learning and appears to be enjoying the process so it's all good!
Thank you for your support and concern,
Mary Westlake
Email to Parent:
ReplyDeleteDear Parent,
There’s nothing wrong with Julia. She is just selected in choosing her friends. She doesn’t feel the necessity of socializing. This is not an unhealthy practice because Julia is thinking beyond the norms of today’s society. Learn to understand, identify and value her reserved qualities of concentration, focus, self discipline, depth, integrity and self knowledge. She is an amazing imaginative child encourage this with activities suggested in an article I read by Nancy R. Fenn :
• Collecting (stamps, butterflies, coins)
• Writing (journals, poetry, letters)
• Photography
• Pets and training pets
• Playing a musical instrument
• Penpals (especially if they’re learning a foreign language)
• Working on props for school plays or other activities strictly behind the scenes
• Internet projects
• Internet games of educational value
• Sports which do not require a team or partner, such as long distance running, swimming or rollerblading
• Decorating their room
• Listening to music
• Independent travel
• Practice designing fashions or developing interests in art, architecture or history (I knew one teenage girl who loved to do grave rubbings and traveled to Europe to do this one summer)
• Maintaining the family photo album
• Reading
• Volunteer work such as working with animals or reading to the deaf
• Supporting a child from a foreign country with donations, letters, photos,
Stop discouraging her and learn to understand her. You might have another Bill Gates in your presence.
Talk to Julia and ask her how she feels about friends, school and social activities. Try to do so without acting concerned, placing judgment or including your own opinion about what you think she should feel. You may be surprised to find out that Julia is perfectly content and happy with the few friends she has and doesn't feel or perceive the same need that you do. If she is happy, then this concern is really yours, not hers. Let her continue to pursue her own interests and be less concerned about which interests include or exclude others. Still concerned about her long-term ability to interact successfully with others? If you are concerned about behavior when around others due to lack of social experience, talk to her before these situations occur to understand what she feels or thinks when entering a room of people. If she is uncomfortable, give her options to suit her needs, such as staying for shorter periods of time, or helping her find or arrange to go with a friend to help ease her into social situations more comfortably. Her personal sense of self-worth and confidence should be a reflection of her views, not what others project for her to see.
ReplyDeleteDear Parent,
ReplyDeleteDoes Julia express concern that she would like more friends? I suspect that she is quite content with a very close friend or two. Julia is an introvert which is a legitimate way of interacting with the world. In fact, introverts have contributed a great deal to the world.
The most important thing is to allow Julia to flourish into who she is. Sometimes introverts feel like something is wrong with them because the world is predominately extroverted. Learn to appreciate her thoughtful comments and insights. Allow her space to think her thoughts and read her books. These things energize her.
Provide opportunities for her to find her passion. Look other places than clubs and team sports. Perhaps an instrument, creative writing, or something to do with animals?
Julia is a lovely child. Help her be herself and appreciate her gifts.
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, however I assure you there is nothing to worry about. Julia is a perfectly normal child, not very different from some children I know.
My experience as an educator, has given me some knowledge about how to help introverted students to blossom in the classroom, and may be some of my tips might apply to her social situation at home or with neighbors.
First of all I want to mention that being introverted is an inborn tendency, and for some people is part of their nature, and they should not be pushed to change. By the contrary, I think encouraging and reassuring them to socialize a little bit by taking a few steps at a time, is the best approach to help them succeed in an extroverted world.
I think socializing and making friends is not about the quantity but about the quality-both in regards to number of friends and the time shared-, if she plays with a few friends and she seems satisfy with her social world, then I would respect her choice.
If you would like more information about introverted children, I would be more than happy to give you some excellent web sites on the topic. I think those websites would give you the opportunity to obtain a deeper knowledge about your own child in order to help her thrive and be happier.
Please contact me again if you would like to keep this conversation going.
Regards,
Mrs. Araque
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, however I assure you there is nothing to worry about. Julia is a perfectly normal child, not very different from some children I know.
My experience as an educator, has given me some knowledge about how to help introverted students to blossom in the classroom, and may be some of my tips might apply to her social situation at home or with neighbors.
First of all I want to mention that being introverted is an inborn tendency, and for some people is part of their nature, and they should not be pushed to change. By the contrary, I think encouraging and reassuring them to socialize a little bit by taking a few steps at a time, is the best approach to help them succeed in an extroverted world.
I think socializing and making friends is not about the quantity but about the quality-both in regards to number of friends and the time shared-, if she plays with a few friends and she seems satisfy with her social world, then I would respect her choice.
If you would like more information about introverted children, I would be more than happy to give you some excellent web sites on the topic. I think those websites would give you the opportunity to obtain a deeper knowledge about your own child in order to help her thrive and be happier.
Please contact me again if you would like to keep this conversation going.
Regards,
Mrs. Araque
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteJulia is a very sweet and talented girl. She likes to be alone most of the time. Being gifted, she loves to read and needs space and time for reflection. She has a tendency to be an introvert which explains why she is not socializing compared to other children her age.She is contended with just a small group of friends and you must understand her for this. What you can do is to praise her for her accomplishments. Teach her simple manners and social skills so that she will know how to interact successfully with other people when this situation arises.
Allow your child to be what she is and you will see her soar to success.
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, however I assure you there is nothing to worry about. Julia is a perfectly normal child, not very different from some children I know.
My experience as an educator, has given me some knowledge about how to help introverted students to blossom in the classroom, and may be some of my tips might apply to her social situation at home or with neighbors.
First of all I want to mention that being introverted is an inborn tendency, and for some people is part of their nature, and they should not be pushed to change. By the contrary, I think encouraging and reassuring them to socialize a little bit by taking a few steps at a time, is the best approach to help them succeed in an extroverted world.
I think socializing and making friends is not about the quantity but about the quality-both in regards to number of friends and the time shared-, if she plays with a few friends and she seems satisfy with her social world, then I would respect her choice.
If you would like more information about introverted children, I would be more than happy to give you some excellent web sites on the topic. I think those websites would give you the opportunity to obtain a deeper knowledge about your own child in order to help her thrive and be happier.
Please contact me again if you would like to keep this conversation going.
Regards,
Mrs. Araque
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, however I assure you there is nothing to worry about. Julia is a perfectly normal child, not very different from some children I know.
My experience as an educator, has given me some knowledge about how to help introverted students to blossom in the classroom, and may be some of my tips might apply to her social situation at home or with neighbors.
First of all I want to mention that being introverted is an inborn tendency, and for some people is part of their nature, and they should not be pushed to change. By the contrary, I think encouraging and reassuring them to socialize a little bit by taking a few steps at a time, is the best approach to help them succeed in an extroverted world.
I think socializing and making friends is not about the quantity but about the quality-both in regards to number of friends and the time shared-, if she plays with a few friends and she seems satisfy with her social world, then I would respect her choice.
If you would like more information about introverted children, I would be more than happy to give you some excellent web sites on the topic. I think those websites would give you the opportunity to obtain a deeper knowledge about your own child in order to help her thrive and be happier.
Please contact me again if you would like to keep this conversation going.
Regards,
Mrs. Araque
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, however I assure you there is nothing to worry about. Julia is a perfectly normal child, not very different from some children I know.
My experience as an educator, has given me some knowledge about how to help introverted students to blossom in the classroom, and may be some of my tips might apply to her social situation at home or with neighbors.
First of all I want to mention that being introverted is an inborn tendency, and for some people is part of their nature, and they should not be pushed to change. By the contrary, I think encouraging and reassuring them to socialize a little bit by taking a few steps at a time, is the best approach to help them succeed in an extroverted world.
I think socializing and making friends is not about the quantity but about the quality-both in regards to number of friends and the time shared-, if she plays with a few friends and she seems satisfy with her social world, then I would respect her choice.
If you would like more information about introverted children, I would be more than happy to give you some excellent web sites on the topic. I think those websites would give you the opportunity to obtain a deeper knowledge about your own child in order to help her thrive and be happier.
Please contact me again if you would like to keep this conversation going.
Regards,
Mrs. Araque
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, however I assure you there is nothing to worry about. Julia is a perfectly normal child, not very different from some children I know.
My experience as an educator, has given me some knowledge about how to help introverted students to blossom in the classroom, and may be some of my tips might apply to her social situation at home or with neighbors.
First of all I want to mention that being introverted is an inborn tendency, and for some people is part of their nature, and they should not be pushed to change. By the contrary, I think encouraging and reassuring them to socialize a little bit by taking a few steps at a time, is the best approach to help them succeed in an extroverted world.
I think socializing and making friends is not about the quantity but about the quality-both in regards to number of friends and the time shared-, if she plays with a few friends and she seems satisfy with her social world, then I would respect her choice.
If you would like more information about introverted children, I would be more than happy to give you some excellent web sites on the topic. I think those websites would give you the opportunity to obtain a deeper knowledge about your own child in order to help her thrive and be happier.
Please contact me again if you would like to keep this conversation going.
Regards,
Mrs. Araque
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, however I assure you there is nothing to worry about. Julia is a perfectly normal child, not very different from some children I know.
My experience as an educator, has given me some knowledge about how to help introverted students to blossom in the classroom, and may be some of my tips might apply to her social situation at home or with neighbors.
First of all I want to mention that being introverted is an inborn tendency, and for some people is part of their nature, and they should not be pushed to change. By the contrary, I think encouraging and reassuring them to socialize a little bit by taking a few steps at a time, is the best approach to help them succeed in an extroverted world.
I think socializing and making friends is not about the quantity but about the quality-both in regards to number of friends and the time shared-, if she plays with a few friends and she seems satisfy with her social world, then I would respect her choice.
If you would like more information about introverted children, I would be more than happy to give you some excellent web sites on the topic. I think those websites would give you the opportunity to obtain a deeper knowledge about your own child in order to help her thrive and be happier.
Please contact me again if you would like to keep this conversation going.
Regards,
Mrs. Araque
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteJulia has a lot of characteristics of an introvert. This just means that she enjoys time alone and gets her energy from reading and doing things alone most of the time. This is not a bad thing. I understand your concern, but please do not pressure her to make new friends. Respect the person she is, her choices and show interest in what she enjoys doing. Allow her to have her select "few" friends. This is who she is. You can also read more about introverts to understand your daughter better and get more suggestions on activities that you think she would enjoy.
Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI can imagine your concern. From what I have read and my experience as a teacher, I would advise you not to worry. I would worry if Julia had expressed concern of not having many friends. Julia is a reserved child who is very selective of her friends. Let me assure you that Julia’s behavior is normal for introvert people. Introvert people like to spend time by themselves. She rather have a few friends who think and act like her, who are cautious of their actions and not have many who act out and make unwise decisions.
Something you could do is asking her if she would like to invite a friend after school. Ask her who she likes to spend time with at school or someone in the neighborhood. She might even have a small party and invite a few friends. If she does not feel comfortable with friends, a good idea would be family first. Support her in any decision she makes. If a gathering does not attract her, see if she would like to help in the community. There are many places where she could feel comfortable being around people. Don’t pressure her. Let her take her time to consider, analyze, and plan. Something else you can do is to find out more about introvert people so you can understand her behavior and helping her develop social skills. Do not worry and support her.
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concerns about Julia, but let me assure you that she is a wonderful and well-adjusted girl! After observing her at school, and reading your letter, I have noticed that Julia is an introvert. She is very observant and takes her time in processing the information around her. She is not simply shy, she is gathering her thoughts and ideas before she engages in interactions. She gets her energy from being reflective on situations and can focus on this when she is alone. Reading is a great way for her to spend her time, and this is evident in her grades and successes at school. Don't worry that she has few friends; these friends are very dear to her and it is great for her to have a close-knit group to rely on! Continue to encourage her to be who she is and she will feel more comfortable when new situations arise. Allow Julia to flourish in her own way and she will continue to be successful and happy!
Sara Veigel
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for the vote of confidence, and for reaching out for me for advice.
The first thing I would ask you to do is not worry too much about Julia not having enough friends. My personal experience, both as a human being and as a teacher has made me reach the conclusion that actually we make ONE very good every 10 years. Take a moment and think about this yourself: how many TRUE and trustful friends do you have since your childhood? Probably one per each milestone in your life (i.e. childhood, high school, college, adulthood). And trust me, those true friends will last you a lifetime! The rest of the people we believe are our friends wind up being only “acquaintances”, or even more sadly, people who would very often take some sort of advantage from us. I am sure you do not want that for Julia.
I humbly suggest that you let Julia be who she is, as well as comfortable with her personality. Show her in any way you can that you love her, and support her decisions, even if you still have a hard time with it (that is, having so few friends!). Respect her for who she is, and in return, she will respect you for who you are.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you still have any questions or concerns.
Sincerely,
Adriana Ruiz
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern about Julia. She tends to be considerably more comfortable when working by herself or with a small group in the classroom, rather than whole class discussions. This is not unusual for gifted children. She has one or two other children with whom she hangs out at recess. Since Julia seems fine with her social life, perhaps new activities designed to help her make new friends would only serve to stress her. However, there are a few activities which might get her out of her room, and involved in other interests; Photography is one that might interest Julia. Maybe you could give her several books of photographs (Time/Life and National Geographics put out some outstanding photo journals) That way, she will have the opportunity to read the books and possibly become intrigued by photography and comfortable with the hobby before going out to snap some pictures with the family's digital camera. If you think Julia might be interested in sports, explore some with her that might fit well with her personality. Perhaps golf, or tennis, or even rollerblading would be a good fit. You might ask her to take lessons with you, or with one of her friends from school.
If you wish to explore other activities which are appropriate for children such as Julia, who are more comfortable with individual activities, there are many articles online which discuss gifted personalities, and how to help them blossom in their own manner. I have attached several links to a few of those articles. I will continue to watch Julia's social interactions at school to make sure she is continuing to interact appropriately with her peers. Please don't hesitate to call me should you have concerns about Julia. Sincerely, Caye Siems
Dear (parent) Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteMaxwell Maltz is credited by saying: If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.
More than anything, Julia needs the support of her parent(s). I believe Julia is making connections with her peers on a level that will need understanding on your part. Children learn best by watching and reading, and believe that Julia is learning more about her environment and interactions with those around her every day. While being social can seem to be important, it is also equally important for Julia to be able to have some time to herself. After having a busy day at school, Julia may need some time to herself. I would suggest by asking Julia how does she feel about having friends. If Julia seems happy with the friends she does have, I would suggest not pressing the issue. If, however, you're finding that Julia seems to be bothered by this issue, see if she will tell you why. Then perhaps you and Julia can brainstorm ways that she would like to be more social.
Although you may not be happy with Julia's answers, know that patience will go a long way in helping her to grow as a person.
Respectfully,
Ms. Williams
I understand your concerns, but I do not believe you should worry. The number of friends she has is irrelevant, unless she expresses concerns herself about socializing with the other children. Julia is and introverted child. She is more comfortable being by herself or interacting only in small groups. If she feels content that way, why put on her the stress and burden of trying to be something she is not? It can only make sense that, being a gifted child, she will not always share the same interests with her peers, and that is ok. She is interacting with adults, because that is what she feels like doing right now. What we need to keep in mind is that she needs support and reassurance that she is loved, liked and just perfect as she is. What you can do, is encourage her to pursue interests or activities afterschool –by her own choice-. Maybe, if she finds someone with a common interest, she will find herself naturally enjoying the company of another child.
ReplyDeleteDear parent,
ReplyDeleteMy experience working at a G&T academy has showed me that Julia's behavior is not unusual, I assure you there is nothing to worry.
My suggestion to help Julia socialize more being an introverted person, is to give choice, and encourage her to participate in small social activities without pushing her.
Also, I have always consider that the most important part of social life and friendship is the quality of the interactions and not the quantity. If you Julia prefers just a few friends and she seems OK with that, then I think she is making a decision that is making her happy.
Please let me know if you would like to read a few articles on the topic.
Good luck!
Hello Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteJulia is right where she needs to be! This is who she is and I wouldn't want to change her personality to be something that she is not. I understand your concern as a parent, however, praise her for being exactly who she is and that's an introvert. They love being alone and to themselves. She will develop at her own pace to make friends and etc. She will become sociable another way. I know as a parent you are concerned about meeting friends and doing things that most kids do at her age but, Julia is gifted within her need to be to herself! She will be just fine and as her mom continue to get more involved in things that she enjoy and let her know that she is special, cool, and perfect just the way she is and everything else (sociable) will fall in place in time!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Matthew
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to hear from you and to know that we can work together on helping Julia as she grows and learns. Julia is a wonderful student in class and seems to enjoy learning especially when she is well prepared and had a chance to obsorb all that is going on around her. I understand your concern for her to have fun and enjoy friends and it is evident that you want what is best for Julia. It seems from your description of the things that Julia enjoys at home and what I have observed in the classroom, that Julia has an introvert personality. This means that she derives pleasure and is energized by spending time alone and is quite content to have it this way. It also may mean that she actually experiences stress and fatigue in social and friendship interactions. You can best help and support her by letting her know that you think she is wonderful just the way she is. Often, if parents and children have different personality types, we may think we need to fix our children, that they are not experiencing all they need to experience and it is our job to change that. Quite the opposite is the case, Julia is just fine and probably renewing her energy as she reads and rests indoors on the weekend after a busy and social week at school. If you would like to develop her extroverted tendencies, you may help her try something new that she chooses so that she grows comfortable trying new things. I would not suggest forcing social situations but you can teach her to by letting her know that you understand her and suggest ways to interact with others that will help her be more comfortable. What comes natural to some may need to be practiced by others. Most of all, I hope you will help Julia feel that she is just great the way she is! She is truly a gift and I thank you for sharing her with me here at school.
Sincerely,
Harriet Mantini
Dear Parent,
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing to worry about with Julia. Julia shows a lot of qualities of being an introverted person. This means she likes to have her space, and she thinks better by being alone. There is nothing wrong with the way she thinks or the fact that she only prefers to have a few close friends. This is not a bad thing. This is just the way she is. It is important to be patient with Julia as she is becoming accustomed to the routine and schedule this year. I may suggest emphasizing on her interests as this may be the key to helping her socialize with others more if she finds out what she has in common with others.
There’s nothing wrong with Julia, she is introverted. Introverts give energy to others, so your child avoids extended social interaction not because she is anti-social but because she is exhausted by it. All those peppy looking extroverts who look so happy in the group are actually taking energy from introverts like your kid when they interact!
ReplyDeleteThe more you understand about introversion as a legitimate personality type the more you can help your child develop a positive self image. You may also want to help your child discover how to “win” in a world set up by “others” with very different tastes and values.
Learning about introverts and supporting your introverted child during the school years in being consciously introverted will bring happiness into your home and build a positive sense of self in your child. Above all, please let your introverted child have her own room and let them close the door whenever they want. Being alone is their way of restoring balance and it is quite necessary for good mental and physical health.
First, I'd like to comment on the article I chose, "What Parents Need to Know." I was enlightened by the misconceptions of introverts. I often ask students who are shy to speak up more or participate more. I've always thought it was my way of preparing them for upper grades (I teach 4th) for socializing and being more self-confident so they ask questions to learn as much as possible. This was just based on my own introverted experience as a student. I never really thought of students as being introverted. I'm speaking of any student, not just GT.
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Andrews,
Thank you for letting me know your concerns about Julia. From what I've noticed in class, she does prefer to work alone on most assignments and talks with others occasionally. From what I can tell, Julia is doing a great job when she does work with others. She is courteous and values her peers ideas. It seems that Julia has a preference she is comfortable with, which is to work alone in most cases. This means she is introverted and is perfectly normal. If she is interacting and has a few friends, I believe Julia will be very successful because she seems very happy. My suggestion for you would be to discuss your concerns with Julia and to try not to pressure her to make a lot of friends. It's okay to have a friend or two and be selective in her choices. If she is having difficulty talking to others, you can suggest how to find commonalities with them, but try to let her make the choice to do what is most comfortable. Thank you and I look forward to a wonderful year together.
Theresa Maresca
Thank you for sharing your concern with me. Ther e is no need to worry about Julia I think she is perfectly fine having few friends, unless she expreses the opposite. Julia is a shy girl and that is nothing wrong with it. It is her personality and we can´t forcé her to be who she isn´t because that might make her feel bad at the end. Introvert people feel comfortable being around small group of people, they don´t need to be around many persons to feel happy at the contrary that would make her feel drain and exhausted. One suggestion would be invite some of her closest friends to your house during the weekends.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your email. I have also taken note of Julia's personality traits. She tends to have an introverted personality. Someone who is an introvert like Julia prefers to be alone reading or doing an activity that appeals to them. They actually learn best this way. What you can do at home is be positive, patient, and appreciate those qualities about Julia which make her unique! At school, I have gone over simple manners and social skills that will help her. I would suggest that you do the same. There are many resources online and at the library that can help you as well.
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteJulia is very talented, genuine and compassionate. She is a critical thinker who is not given to snap judgements. Her ability to focus on the task at hand is second only to her reading ability. Julia does not particularly enjoy large group projects, however, she seems to thrive in groups of 2 or 3. Students enjoy working with Julia because she is a positive influence, academically and socially. I have been working with Julia concerning her oral presentation skills in preparation for her Semester Project. Julia mentioned her group was considering meeting at your home to practice.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely, Mr. Flato
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteJulia is a quiet girl. In class, I have noticed that she prefers to work by herself on in small groups. She is a deep thinker and very reflective. Most of the time, she does not choose to be surrounded by many people. She probably is a very private person and enjoys her own company. She does not thrive on the energy some people obtain from social contact, and, in fact needs her quiet time after school and on the weekends, after being around so many people all day. She uses this time alone to recharge and process what has happened during the day. She was most likely born with this preference and pushing her to go outside and interact even more with other children isn’t in her best interest.
We can enjoy Julia by allowing her to be what comes naturally to her while providing guidance and support when helping her step outside her comfort zone. We can help her by validating the feelings she might have in certain social situations. A meeting/gathering with a purpose will ease some of the fear of socializing she has.
I have seen that she has some friends whom she spends time with during lunch and recess. She socializes best one-on-one with other children with similar interests. Here in school, to further develop her creative abilities, she might be interested in helping out behind the scenes for our next school play. At home, maybe it would be possible for you to arrange for one of her friends to come to your house and help her train her new dog. If a friend is to come over, help her by rehearsing what might be appropriate to do and say in that social situation.
If there’s anything more I might help you with, please call.
Sincerely,
Ms. Larrea
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern, and you will be happy to know that there is nothing to worry about because there is a solution. Julia is an introverted student. Some of the things that you have noticed about her I have also noticed in class. She prefers to work and play alone. Although, there are some sparks of socialization throughout the day. Please understand that being around others heavily may overwhelm and drain her. Ways to that you can help her to be more social is to let her come into it on her own. Do not force her to intermingle with others. It may be best to sit and talk with her about the things she likes to do first, and maybe if she knows some studnets in the class who have the same interest as her. You guys can discuss ways that she can approach the students that she may want to befriend. It is important that she thinks this up on her own so that she can take ownership of her actions and stay within her comfort zone. Most importantly, don't push her into this too fast or too hard. That is the quickest way to make her more introverted and fearful or peer interaction. We want this to be a smooth transition for her. I will be making efforts in the classroom to aide in her social progress. If you have any other questions, comments, or concerns, please do not hesitate to let me know.
Thanks,
Ms. Evans
Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteFrom what I have seen and what you have told me, it looks as though Julia is more of an introvert. This being said, it is perfectly normal that she has a close group of a few friends. It might be that Julia does not like being in large groups as she needs time to reflect and form her own opinions. I would not be concerned that she is not always wanting to be around all of her friends. If you wanted her to spend more time with her peers, I would suggest letting her choose an activity that she would enjoy and invite one or two people to go along with her. I would just try to give her opportunities to socialize doing things she likes but I wouldn't force her to participate as we want her to feel comfortable. I appreciate you concern and know that Julia is very lucky to have such support.
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a pleasure to have Julia in my class. I am aware that you are concerned about Julia's socialization skills or lack thereof. Please do not fret.
Children come with their own personalities, value systems, and their own set of ideas. Their personality is seldom symmetrical to parents' fantasies. This is not a bad thing. Children typically need to find their own niche. Sometimes as parents we need to observe the behavior and ask ourselves why does my child prefer to stay home instead of attending the circus. Consider her need for space or time alone. Also, recognize that most public education facilities use a variety of differentiated instruction which requires a lot of movement and partner or group activities throughout the day. Julia may not have a choice but to work with people throughout the day and simply just want to be alone once she arrives home. Try making certain chores at home as a group activity.
Overall, Julia is a brilliant and artistic student that I enjoy having in my class. She processes information internally before responding to questions. I’ve noticed that when she has to work with another person or a group she tends to be voted as the leader and she excels in that position. She has learned that as the facilitator she can appoint note takers, speakers, etc. to accomplish the tasks of the group. Her peers take pleasure in having her in their group because she is reticent but conscientious. I have been working with Julia regarding Socratic seminars and debating; basically, to get her over stage freight and public speaking. Just continue to remain positive and steadfast and she will succeed.
Thanks for your prompt attention and concerns!
Sincerely,
Ms. A. McCartney
Dear Mrs. Andrews:
ReplyDeleteI appreciated hearing from you about Julia. She is a delight to have in class!
We have learned a lot about children like Julia. In general, people learn and acces information in different ways that are inherent to each individual.
Although such as assessment is outside of the scope of this letter, it certainly may be that Julia is an introvert.
This is not anything that is negative; in fact a large prcentage of the highly gifted are or were introverts. It simply means that Julia gets her energy from inside rather than from group activities and may enjoy time alone more than parties for example. Large groups might leave her feeling out of sorts or drained.
Making a lot of friends may not be important to her although she may well have a few close friends. At school she probably feels better working alone than in a group.
My suggestion would be to accept her like she is and celebrate the gifted individual she is. Pushing her to "socialize" can only stress her out and bring about negative results.
Mrs. Andrews
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern with Julia's social life. She may feel comfortable with only a special few friends.If we try to encourage other relationships and activities, she may feel pressured into doing something that is not her. As a suggestion, she might enjoy spending time with you, so maybe Julia and you can hang out in which you can teach her some social skills that will benefit her as she gets older. Allow her to be her natural self with those few friends that she does enjoy hanging out with. You may call me or send an e-mail if you have more questions or would like some more suggestions.
Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern with Julia's emtional well being. It may seem natural and even necessary to you for a child of her age to want to be outside playing with friends. She may just be more selective in whom she chooses as friends and may be perfectly content with a small group of close friends. As you observed, it is a common trait in gifted children to want to associate and interact with adults, but introversion is also a very common trait among gifted children. Introversion or extroversion are not synonimous with friendly or unfriendly; they refer more to a person's means of gaining emotional energy. Introverts "recharge their batteries" by being with people and are excited by opportunities to interact with new groups. Extroverts require time alone to reflect and process what they have experienced or seen to feel energized.
We all want and need friends, however, as a gifted child, Julia is more likely to be an introvert and may be perfectly happy with the group of friends she currently has. She may even feel emotionally drained by being placed in situations where she may need to interact with many new people at once. I recommend speaking to her about what she prefers and whether or not she is happy with her current friends or if she feels the need to develop more friendships.
Sincerely,
E. Rodriguez
Dear_____,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concerns regarding Julia's disinterest in making new friends. She seems to to most comfortable when she is alone. Julia maybe more incline to make friends if it is with a group of people that share a strong common interest with her. Such as an outside or extracurriculum activity group.
Extrovert: I do not have a problem making a friend, if you sit next to someone long enough I will strike up a conversation. I am usually the outspoken one of the group.
Dear Mrs. Andrews:
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your willingness to share your concerns with me regarding Julia. Everyone has a unique method of intermingling with the world. Your daughter appears to be an introvert. I have enclosed some information concerning introverted vs. extroverted children. In addition, I have a few pamphlets that explains some things that you can do, as a parent, to support her.
You stated that Julia wasn’t making enough friends, having fun, or socializing enough. I am counting on you to help her understand her style much better and to give her the things that she needs. I am elated that her grades are fine and she appears to be doing okay at school. In the mean time, continue to provide Julia with her own personal space and time to herself, so that she can reflect and recharge.
I am looking forward to our meeting on next week. I can’t wait to her what you thought about H’vovi Bhagwagar’s article.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Virginia
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteYou should be proud Julia's accomplishments, and encourage her in the things she struggles in. She has an introvert personality. Which means after a long day at school, she needs to time to re-energize and reflect on the day.
I suggest reading articles on introvert personalities. This would allow an increase of communication between you and Julia, and it would allow Julia to understand herself a bit more. High school can be tough, but if a teenager can learn a bit more about what makes them tick then they will have less to worry about.
I have attached a few articles to help, and I look forward to meeting you soon.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thanks,
Ms. Brunson
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your willingness to share your concern about Julia. I too have noticed that she seems to be somewhat of an introvert. For example, she rarely answers questions in class discussions, but I know that she is grasping the material because she does very well on tests and quizzes. I have also noticed that she is not as social as some of her classmates. However, as you mentioned in your initial message, Julia's personality is not uncommon among gifted students. In addition, it is a perfectly acceptable way of relating to the world! Many highly successful people, such as Bill Gates and Albert Einstein, have had this personality type. Forcing her to engage in activities that go against her nature can have a detrimental affect on her overall development.
I would encourage you to research this issue further and consider encouraging activities that are cinsistent with her nature. If you need additional suggestions or support, please let me know. I look forward to continuing to working with you and Julia in furthering her development as a gifted student.
Best regards,
Clarence Ford
Dear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are concerned about your child. I first like to assure you that there is nothing wrong with your child. They just have different taste and values. It’s so important to encourage your child’s feelings about any activities they want to do and help them understand that it’s normal if they don’t want to do what the other children are doing. Don’t force them to get involved an any activities that at they don’t want to get involved in. I have listed some activities or hobbies that your child might enjoy doing. Collecting (stamps, butterflies, coins), Writing (journals, poetry, letters), Photography, Pets and training pets, Playing a musical instrument, Working on props for school plays or other activities strictly behind the scenes, Internet games of educational value just to name a few. Let your child know that you support them and you are proud of them know matter what they do.
Sincerely,
Cawana Love
Dear Mrs.Andrew,
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to share your concerns with me. I would like to take the time to tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Julia. She is an introvert which means she enjoys working alone and thinking of unique ways to do things at all times. She thinks outside the box. Julia is inclined to make friends with other children that share common interests like her therefore that might be the reason she does not have many close friends her age. I would suggest enrolling her in extracurricular activities of her interest so that she can be around children that are participating in activities she is interested in.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact me,
Cynthia Romero
Julia is an introvert. She enjoys being alone reading and or writing. This is her preference. You want Julia to socialize because you think that's healthy behavior for a child. We have been taught by pediatrians that children should play and socialize because this is how they learn to communicate, share, and solve problems. However, when a child is an introvert they see the world totally different. So don't worry about Julia. I would probably help you and Julia if you could help her understand her behaviors. Being an introvert is just part of her personality.
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Andrews,
ReplyDeleteI have taken note of her introverted tendencies as well. Though I understand your concern, I know she is close with [so-and-so]. She is very bright and seems to be very content learning which is why she speaks with adults and teachers the most. I've noticed that for some students, even being at school is taxing due to having an introverted nature of personality. She works in groups fine while at school. I'm sure she's just looking to recharge her batteries with alone-time during her weekends. If you would like to learn more about socialization and introverts, I have plenty of resources you could look into. There are also many web-resources available. Also investing time in hobbies may be the recharging thing she needs.
Cordially,
Christopher Kwan